Not another Mary Sue Parody!
by Elphaba The Wicked Witch
Summary: Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma has been accepted to Hogwarts as an American exchange student! Perhaps she shall find true love and a place to screw up canon. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma was your typical teenage girl. She had thick, luscious, bright brunette hair with natural highlights of every color of the rainbow that fell lightly on her delicate shoulders. She had deep dark brown eyes that could turn to green or grey, depending what mood she was in. Her skin was as smooth as a baby's ass (which, if you ask me, isn't a pleasant thing if it has crap all over it). She could easily seduce any boy with the blink of any eye. But she was only normal.

One day, Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma was about on her normal business of screwing up fandoms when she heard a noise at her window. She got up to see what it was. "Like, omg, it's, like, a freaking owl!" Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma exclaimed. She let the owl in through the window. She soon noticed that the owl had a scroll attached to its foot. She elegantly removed the scroll from the owl's foot and she unrolled it.

"Dear Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma, You have been invited to come to OMGZ HOGWARTS as an American exchange student. Hope you can come, Dumbledore," Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma read.

"Like, OMGZERS! I'm, like, going to freaking OMGZ HOGWARTS, even though i have no idea what it is and that I should b all skeptical, yanno? Because magic shouldn't exist and stuff!" Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma exclaimed! So Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma packed all of her bags and went to OMGZ HOGWARTS, where she escaped her evil relative (who no one really knows about) who beat the shit out of her, despite the fact that Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma had no bruises to show for it.

**A/N- Hi everyone! If you like this Mary Sue parody, then you should review! Please! Thank you so much! I'll probably have another chapter up tommorow.**


	2. Chapter 2

Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma boarded the OMGZ HOGWARTS express, with everyone else. But because she was a super special, she got her own entire train car to herself. It was complete with a huge closet, a vanity desk with all of the makeup anyone could imagine, and vibraters to suit her Mary-Sue needs. She was playing around with the makeup and the vibraters at the same time, when she heard a knock on the door.

"Like, omg, come in," she said, tearing the vibrater away from her… -insert feminine body part here.- The door opened smoothly. A sexy hand came from behind the door. A face with hawt blond hair, snow white skin, and cold grey eyes popped in from behind.

"Like, What?" Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma spat at the boy.

"I noticed new car here, and I didn't think it belonged to someone as enticing as you," he said. Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma looked into this boys eyes carefully. They had an essence of familiarity to them. Could they possibly be…? They were identical to Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma's eyes when she was angry.

"Like, omg! You're, like, my fourth cousin, twice removed!" Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma exclaimed, excitedly.

"Like, omg! I think you're, like, omg, right, even though the only proof we have is our identical eye color! Let's make out, even though that's sick and wrong, since we're fourth cousins, twice removed," he said. "I'm, like, Draco, by the way."

"Oh, cool! I'm Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma!" she said.

"How awesome! We even share the same surname!" Draco said.

"Well, one of them," Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma giggled. Draco advanced on top of Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma and they made out, ferociously, until the train came to a sudden halt. Everything got icy cold. Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma looked up in confusement, wondering what on earth could make everything so cold so quickly.

"Are we at OMGZ HOGWARTS?" Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma asked.

"No, baby, let's just keep making out," Draco said. But Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma knew that something was amiss. The coldness got even worse. Draco shivered, but Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma was too perfect to show such signs of weakness. Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma pushed Draco off of herself, without the slightest amount of effort. She walked, carefully, to the door. And she found a SOOPER DANGROUS DEMENTOR! But, since Cerra Elise Berlin Shanghai Wooptidoo Mary Sue Potter Snape Malfoy Honma was cool and could cast any spell that she wanted to without practice. So she conjured up a patronous shaped like a hydra, and the SOOPER DANGROUS DEMENTOR went away. Satisfied with the fact that she had successfully demolished the dementor, she went back to her private car and continued to make out with Draco.

**A/N- Thank you, reviewers! I really appreciate reviews! **


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